FROM LOYAL TO REBEL
September 23, 2017
FORCING VS. FLOWING
September 24, 2017
MY PERSONAL JOURNEY
During the spring of 2016 I decided to leave my full-time position as a manager to pursue my dreams of launching my own business. The time just felt right. After years of working in management I figured I had the experience and skills needed, so I went on chasing my passions. I took a risk but it was well worth it. I was excited for change, enthusiastic, inspired, and motivated. I quit my job and said goodbye to my colleagues, sales associates, and customers. After working in the wellness industry at various vitamin stores, I knew I wanted to be in the holistic health field. I loved the idea of using alternative medicines to prolong life instead of relying on prescription drugs just to treat symptoms. Why not attempt to avoid dis-ease all together?
The food you eat can either be the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. With that said, I completed a course becoming a Certified Nutrition & Wellness Consultant. Now that I wasn’t working I had more time to reflect on my lifestyle. I decided to change my diet to a mainly vegetable base. A month later and another course completed I became a Certified Woman’s Fitness Specialist. It was now the end of August 2016 and I knew I wanted to become a yoga instructor. I searched to find a teacher that would be a good fit for me. I found one that really appealed to me. This teacher spoke her truth over trends. Her type of yoga had structure/ discipline and was also spiritual in nature. I enrolled right away.
The course included me doing yoga 5 days a week in the studio and meeting up with the teacher for class on-on-one once a week. I learned about building a sequence, proper form, anatomy, hands on adjustments, and the Yoga Sutras, Yamas and Niyamas. Yoga is more than just physical body postures, it is literally a way of living. The Yamas and Niyamas may be thought of as guidelines, tenets, ethical disciplines, precepts, or restraints and observances. The class required that we apply the Yamas and Niyamas to our life per month and then journal the results. This experience changed my life. At the end of the course I noticed increased happiness, self-awareness, and spiritual fulfilment.
Everything had changed and yet, I was more me than ever. I felt happier and healthier than ever but something happened. I became friends with a person who I had a lot in common with, things were going well. My friend started to confide in me their own personal issues. They then became needy, always needing help with different things. I offered my advice, hand and help. Before I knew it, I was knees deep in my friends shit. Helping them at the cost of my own sanity. My friend on a downhill spiral, dragged me through the mud and then discarded me. I felt terribly betrayed/ back stabbed. It was crappy. This situation really knocked me off my stable foundation. I was upset and wanted an outsider’s opinion. My emotions were too involved and I couldn’t see the situation clearly.
My massage therapist recommended this reiki/ psychic. I made an appointment right away. This situation was eye opening for me. After speaking to this reiki practitioner, I realized a theme in my life. In the past, I had also helped people only to end up betrayed. I wanted to know why this was happening. Was I too nice? Maybe I wasn’t setting enough boundaries? Was I a glutton for punishment? I now know what the issue was. This friend’s problems reminded me of my own. That’s why I wanted to help her so bad. She reminded me of myself. She was a mirror reflecting back to me my own inner childhood trauma pain. If I could help her maybe I could help myself. Then my ego got involved and the more I helped her, the more I felt better about myself. Wow. This realization was huge.
The next step was months of healing. I received reiki about four times, addressed the trauma with my therapist, and bought several self-help books. It is a long journey and I realized a person is never fully healed because when you are that’s when you’re not here on this earth anymore. Healing is a process. After months of healing and being deeply touched by this reiki practitioner and her story, I decided to become reiki certified.
